Banishing Loneliness One Room at a Time
- 22 hours ago
- 4 min read
Making loneliness a personal challenge
When I started university, I read Lynne Reid Banks’ ‘The L-Shaped Room’. For me, it was a tale of loneliness that profoundly affected me. I vowed not to let loneliness impact my life, and to help others do the same! I made sure I had ‘a friend for all occasions’, and as a natural networker, I loved helping others connect too.
Later in life, after 67 years of marriage, my dear dad was bereft by the loss of my beloved mum, and I wanted to ensure he would never feel that aching void. So he came to live with us in his final years and we entertained his agile mind daily up to almost 101!
As a nation we are living longer, healthier lives and most of us want to stay active and engaged for as long as possible. Yet 25% of adults report feeling lonely ‘often or always’ or at least ‘some of the time’, and how much harder that must be at a time of loss or separation. While some people are natural ‘loners’, it is those who want company, are unhappy without, but have no opportunity to find it, that I worry about.
Combatting loneliness and gaining useful help
During covid I knew many lone householders who often found that family or friends were unavailable to offer company or lend a hand with practical tasks. They were not ‘elderly’, didn’t require care, and preferred to make rent on a spare room than pay homeshare agency fees for a lodger. There was no resource where people could find a compatible lodger who would commit to offering some their time, so I had an idea.
I had read about a Dutch scheme to house students freely in residential care homes if they spent some time with the residents. It made both parties happy and was so successful that it spread across Holland. And I thought, why should this be confined to older people and students – why can’t we open up this opportunity to everyone by simply creating a platform where compatible people can meet and create their own tailored, shared living arrangements?
That is how hapipod.com came about, as a DIY homeshare matching site that works similarly to a dating site. It connects householders offering affordable spare rooms with compatible lodgers offering time and help as well as payment. People match based on skills, requirements, personality and shared interests, and set up homeshares that combat loneliness and lessen stressful cost-of-living burdens.
Smart shared living without age barriers
Whilst we imagined that homeshares would most likely be between older homeowners and younger lodgers, it became evident that half the lodgers seeking affordable rooms were aged between 40-60, and householders were of all ages and life circumstances. Thus homeshares could be between contemporaries as well as intergenerational.
One example was single mum Melanie in her mid-thirties. She was struggling with a difficult divorce and needed a little social support as well as help with her two young daughters. Through hapipod she found Emma-Lee who was similar in age, had been a nanny and was now a professional looking to relocate affordably. Melanie said “it’s brought a touch of magic to my home. I have a warm and friendly housemate who has experience with kids and gives me a little help as well as an income.” Jane and Vee were another example – see their story below.
Tailored arrangements that work for those involved
Similarly, Gaynor, an active grandmother and reflexologist in her sixties, was recuperating from an operation and unable to lift anything, but also felt rather socially isolated. She found 40-year-old Christie, who had recently immigrated and wanted to live affordably in a safe area. Gaynor said “hapipod gave me the best of both worlds where I have a very sweet person living with me who can give me some help around the house, and a little bit of money coming in.”
For many, admitting loneliness is hard, but having someone to live with, who is committed to sharing a little of their time, offers a great way to tackle it indirectly. Stephen, a widow in his eighties says he just wants someone to help lock up and be an overnight presence in case of falls. However, once Foojan, a medical researcher in her late twenties moved in, his life became so much richer. A year later she has had to move on and he seeks a replacement, but he misses her company and states enthusiastically “We’re still in touch you know!”
I still hate to think of people feeling lonely when it’s unnecessary. Whilst modern shared living won’t work for everyone, for those who would consider it, I am pleased to have created an affordable way to seek kindred spirits and create practical homeshares that can often transform your quality of life.
If anyone would like to know more, do visit hapipod.com.
