Loneliness in Motherhood - It’s Time We Talk About It

By the Women’s Work Lab for Loneliness Awareness Week

Motherhood is a time of joy, bonding and deep connection - but for many new mums the experience can be hugely isolating. The ultimate irony is that despite now having a constant companion (and not a moment to yourself!) motherhood can be lonely.

New parents devote themselves entirely to a new being - with the impact of parenthood often being isolation from friends, family, work, community and hobbies. Over time parents may miss adult conversation - and the hobbies and free time they once had - and can feel despair when comparing their parenting journey to those of people they see online.

As we approach Loneliness Awareness Week, it's vital to shine a light on a hidden truth: loneliness is a common and deeply felt experience for many mums. This is especially true for those who face additional barriers to a social and professional life. We need to be open about it.

At the Women’s Work Lab we support unemployed mums back into work. Lots of the mums we work with face multiple hurdles: many are single parents, survivors of domestic abuse or have been out of work for a long time. All too often we hear the same experiences: "I felt invisible”. “I’d lost who I was".

Women's Work Lab help Mums transform their lives by rebuilding confidence and helping them on their journey to find work that works for them and their families.

The hidden experience of loneliness in motherhood

Becoming a parent is one of the key points in life which increase the likelihood of feeling lonely and loneliness can creep into motherhood in subtle but powerful ways. It could be in the early years of caring for young children, or the struggle to rebuild confidence after years away from work -many mums find themselves feeling disconnected, both from society and their own sense of self.

Marmalade Trust highlights that you don’t have to be on your own to feel lonely and this is an important point. It’s not about how many people you know - it’s about feeling connected. This is so important because many mums can “know” a lot of people, yet still feel deeply alone. For mums who’ve been out of work for a long time, or who are parenting without strong support networks, loneliness can be particularly acute.

What the Women’s Work Lab is doing

At the Women’s Work Lab we help mums rebuild their confidence and skills and get back into work. Our detailed programme combines in class training, work placements and 1-1 mentoring. The results speak for themselves: 71% are in work, volunteering or further training within 6 months.

Our mums build up strong friendships and communities with each other. This is key. They form tight-knit bonds and cheer each other on, support each other, share their stories and realise they’re not alone. Many of our graduates tell us that simply being understood has changed their lives.

Why Loneliness Awareness Week matters

At the Women’s Work Lab we’re supporting Loneliness Awareness Week because it’s not enough to just recognise loneliness exists, we need to challenge the stigma that surrounds it.  By speaking openly about how common it is, especially among mums, we can help break the silence and open up new conversations.

For us, every mum who walks through our doors feeling lost - and leaves feeling seen and heard—is a triumph.

What you can do

If you're a mum feeling lonely, please know you are not alone.  Please try to reach out and find a community.

Get back into employment

If you’re struggling because you’re missing work and a career, think about the steps you can take to get back into employment. Sign up for the Women’s Work Lab for training, work experience and mentoring. Make contact with former colleagues.

Strike up conversations

If you’re missing friendship and adult conversation, strike up a conversation with a new face at the school gates/volunteer in your local community and get to know your neighbours/chat to fellow mums at the park/tell anyone close to you how you’re feeling. Try to be honest - tell someone what you’re experiencing and people will want to help.

Get out and about

Try to get out of the house for a walk, if you can, every day. You’ll be amazed at how much simply being outdoors helps. Chat to people in the queue at the supermarket. Text a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while. Know that however perfect anyone’s life looks, they too may be experiencing loneliness.

Treat yourself with kindness

Treat yourself and spend some time investing in you - this will boost your confidence and help you strike up new conversations. Allow yourself 30 minutes to have a bath. Watch your favourite TV programme. Giving yourself time to focus on you will help lift your spirits, which in turn will make it easier to make connections.

Make time to talk

If you know someone who might be facing loneliness, please ask how they really are. If you’re experiencing loneliness, remember it’s natural to feel lonely at times and motherhood can be especially hard for many people. Try to identify what you need to feel less lonely and then you can take the steps to alleviate it.

Remember, loneliness is a common and natural emotion - we should all talk about it.